M.I.A.

So they tell me my follicles (which hold the eggs) disappeared. I just don't believe it. Where did it go in just 2 days?(We had seen via u/s a big growing egg just 2 days before) Hmmmmm........could God be at work here. Josh and I have been feeling throughout our prayers that God is telling us the answer is on it's way. Soon. I'm believing He's working here....this did not happen by chance. The day of the u/s (last Wed.) I wasn't ok....but thanks to God's faithfulness and a believing husband and father/mother-in-law now I am. Did you know that you could have prayer meeting in your bedroom??....I mean....good "old fashioned" cry your heart out prayer meeting...yep! Of course Josh's whole nightstand/curtains got annointed right there along with my head by mistake.....yes.....my sweet husband spilled the WHOLE bottle of annointing oil on our nightstand. He says-"Wow. The wood is really going to be shiny now". --gotta love him! But truly----it was a special time. One of many lately. I've been married to Josh for 5 years and we've been "together" as a couple of 11 but NEVER have I felt as connected as I have to him lately. Yes- we have prayed together in the past. I remember a very special night in Mexico on the floor at the mission we were staying at where I believe God spoke to both of us and told us we were meant for each other but WOW---the intimate times with God we have been having!! I really believe that when your heart is totally broken (which ours seems to be more and more by the day) you can stand(or in our case-fall) before God and something really special happens. All the walls are down. When you have nothing else to lose and no where else to turn your attention really focuses on Him. I praise God for my believing husband who has been such a pillar of strength and wisdom for me on those days where I just break and feel like I want to give up. Yes-infertility has placed stress on our marriage BUT God has used to to bring us closer than we EVER have been before. I see Josh's heart in a new way each and every time he holds me and hurts because I hurt---each time I see him bow before Almighty God and plead for Him to make a way. It's a humbling experience.

I go for -MORE- bloodwork today. yay. We're looking to see if indeed I did ovulate even though my follies were M.I.A. Maybe we'll see high numbers....maybe we won't but I know that God's working.......that's all that matters!